Getting the kids to obey things they really didn't want to do was nearly impossible for me. Brad never supported me. Not with our own kids and not with the kids we worked with at the church. So i had no recourse if Brad was present and every child we dealt with knew it. I quickly stopped helping him with any childrens ministry. And became harsh with our kids when he wasn't home. Abusive no, a near bully, yes. I frightened them a few times. But most of the issues we had could have been prevented if Brad had been willing to be my teammate rather than my rival.