Starting over

As things are finally coming to an end in this chapter of my life, I feel like it may be time to blog again, the best healing balm I have found is to write it all out.

As you can see (from the previos entries) I started this two years ago, at the beginning of the end.  I am not going to delete those original entries, because I believe I wrote them for a purpose. But the  begining of our failure was way before where I began this blog originally.

Let me also make something very clear.  My husband started making poor choices 20 years before we met and we are both suffering the consequences of those choices, BUT we both made choices. I chose to encourage our relationship. I chose to marry him.  I chose to believe the lies that I was unworthy of such a "wonderful" man and that I should be thankful that he would be willing to have such a "pathetic loser" as myself.

I am in no way trying to place ALL the blame on him, and I am not writing this out to make him look like tha bad guy, or to make those who love him or admire him, turn against him.

I write this for two reasons:
1. To process for myself what has happened, so that I can heal and learn and make wiser chooices in the future.
2. So that someone else might read this and learn so they don't have to go down the same path I did.

There are three sides to every story, this blog, is MY perspective, that does not mean it is 100% RIGHT, it means it is how I see (or saw) it, how I remember living it. And sharing it is primarily for me and my healing, if you read it, it is NOT root, or reference for gossip. Please, DO NOT USE WHAT IS SAID TO DIMINISH ANYONE'S CHARACTER no matter how much you think they deserve it. THAT IS NOT THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG.

EVERY human being is equally created in the image of God and is worthy to be treated with the love, respect and kindness being created in God's image deserves. It took me 40 years to believe that truth, and I know some people never quite believe it.  If you are reading this: BELIEVE IT!

It has been a long uphill battle, and my war is not over. I often fear it will not end this side of Heaven, but I know one day it will end and I am on the winning side, and I can and do live in the confidence of that victory. My belief that it will come is as sure as if it has already happened (Because God has told me it will happen, and HE is the only one Who cannot lie, and will not lie to me ever about anything!)

Some reading this have never read any of the blogs I have written, some have read them all, I have no idea who is in either group (and I like it that way). But  for those who have not read my other blogs, if you have the time, read them. For the sake of continuity, I will give a brief recap of my life before I  start on this journey.