The problem with that is I allowed and enabled him to manipulate me so he could keep doing what he was doing... And I was so damaged that I didn't realize that he was hurting me more and more every day.

I took the blame for his obvious disinterest and discontent in our marriage. I knew I was not good enough, it was some miracle that God allowed him to think I was good enough to be his wife. Yet it seemed the harder I tried, the more impossible he made it for me to please him.  

And it took me 16 years to find out why. 

Sixteen years, that makes a person feel stupid! How do you live with someone for 16 years, and they are able to keep a secret like that all that time??? 

I don't know. I trusted him. 

And I was foolish enough to believe, that because I had endured all those years of abuse, I couldn't be abused again. And instead I was ripe, perfect to be set up to be psychologically controlled and manipulated.